There was a palpable
excitement about this turn of events. Vera, my friend was also on the
list of those allowed to go, but we couldn't find a cart for her
belongings. In the meantime I was trying to decide whether to go or
to stay. At the end my dearest mother in law solved the problem. By
then there were about three thousand of us in the Tutura, but God
knows she was still bent on making my life even more
miserable.
I was ready to end it
then and there and the reason I didn't succeed in killing myself was
not her doing - someone else knocked the glass, with poison, out of
my hand. We were suffering terribly while working for the Germans,
but I hated them less than I hated her. I remembered how she would
ruin, on purpose, even those few happy hours she allotted us through
her strict schedule. Sorry about not playing the proper role, but I
can only accept those who love me.