One of the most
terrible things was when the letters I had sent to my parents came
back to me, unopened. People were friendlier then usual and stopped
talking or switched to another topic when I entered. My heart was so
heavy, I figured I would die soon.
While I had gotten
used to sharing all my thoughts with you, this was not the time to
make you even more upset. I'd have killed myself if I'd caused those
warm brown eyes of yours turning even sadder. I was terribly afraid
that you'd be ordered to march off to another forced labor camp from
Dörögd. It might sound strange, but I actually felt
relieved when I heard, after you'd been taken away, that we would
also be shipped out in cattle boxcars at dawn the next day, to
Egerszeg. I did my packing in a very short time. Our cousins, Rudy
and Michael also came in from Dörögd and we were waiting,
together with Vera, for you to return. After staying with us in vain
for long hours, Rudy and Michael had to go back. I was devastated
when Rudy said good-bye to his children, although your absence
actually was a godsend under the circumstances. Besides, we had our
hands full with Clara, as she was going into a complete nervous
breakdown. She was waiting for Lala, who was to arrive next Monday,
while we were to be taken away tomorrow, at dawn.