One of the most terrible things was when the letters I had sent to my parents came back to me, unopened. People were friendlier then usual and stopped talking or switched to another topic when I entered. My heart was so heavy, I figured I would die soon.


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While I had gotten used to sharing all my thoughts with you, this was not the time to make you even more upset. I'd have killed myself if I'd caused those warm brown eyes of yours turning even sadder. I was terribly afraid that you'd be ordered to march off to another forced labor camp from Dörögd. It might sound strange, but I actually felt relieved when I heard, after you'd been taken away, that we would also be shipped out in cattle boxcars at dawn the next day, to Egerszeg. I did my packing in a very short time. Our cousins, Rudy and Michael also came in from Dörögd and we were waiting, together with Vera, for you to return. After staying with us in vain for long hours, Rudy and Michael had to go back. I was devastated when Rudy said good-bye to his children, although your absence actually was a godsend under the circumstances. Besides, we had our hands full with Clara, as she was going into a complete nervous breakdown. She was waiting for Lala, who was to arrive next Monday, while we were to be taken away tomorrow, at dawn.


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